Matter Over Mind
by theAdorabloodthirsty
Summary: Kanaya is on the meteor with the rest of the survivors and the two humans. She starts to notice little things about her life and the others involved that she didn't notice before. My first story so don't be too judgy... But some constructive criticism couldn't hurt.
1. Chapter 1

Kanaya and Rose were in the library alone. They were knee deep in ancient lore, occasionally scribbling down some notes in their big book of findings, though Rose did most of the writing.

Kanaya was particularly interested in one book that involved old tombs and hieroglyphs of an ancient language. She jumped slightly as Rose broke the long, concentrated silence. She had come across an old poem of sorts and was trying to make sense of it. Kanaya frowned after reading it once in her head, and read it out loud to try and make more sense of the strange nonsense written on the page. She instantly forgot what she had just said and couldn't seem to read the text again. The words now seemed like a huge jumbled mess of blurry symbols.

She turned to Rose. She was startled to find that Rose's eyes were changing in pigment and then in shade, from a slightly pinker purple, to a deep pink, to a stunning scarlet red. The color was terrifying but strangely captivating, the new color seeming to stare right into her soul.

Just as this thought struck her, Rose's skin started to glow intensely, noticeably increasing in temperature. Kanaya opened her mouth, about to ask if she was ok, chills coursing through her spine despite the heat radiating off of Rose's glowing body.

Rose was now pulsing red-hot energy. She was, to Kanaya's horror, laughing maniacally. Wait, no, she was laughing as if she enjoyed the experience, even pleasantly. Then, with a loud BOOM, Rose was gone.

Kanaya woke up gasping for breath, her body drenched with a cold sweat. It was only four in the morning, but Kanaya decided she couldn't sleep anymore.

She got up and started pacing around, realizing that she was shaking slightly. She was overwhelmed by the intense imagery that her sub-conscious had just displayed to her.

She wondered how her sleeping mind had ever come up with something as preposterous as this; she had basically killed her best friend, if indirectly, but she still felt terrible.

Kanaya shook her head, deciding to ask Rose about the meaning of this dream shit later. She was the one with freaky mind powers. Um... not freaky mind powers... more like amazing psychological intuition and talent. Yeah. That's what it was.

Kanaya took a quick shower and threw on some clothes, taking moderate care to make her choice reasonably good looking. She spent about 10 minutes carefully applying her elaborate make-up, choosing black lipstick to bring out some extra texture to her already black lips. (But hey, humans wear pink lipstick sometimes, and their lips are already pink.)

After applying her many layers of her daily make-up, Kanaya made her way down the hall and into the kitchen, where she prepared some coffee and into the huge living room that the trolls (and humans) liked to watch movies and TV in when they needed a break from whatever other fucking around they did on this flying piece of space junk.

She was surprised to find Karkat and Terezi fast asleep, huddled up on the sofa together. _They must have fallen asleep while watching one of Karkat's rom-coms_, Kanaya thought as she turned off the blue screen of the TV.

She smiled to herself. She was glad that Karkat and Terezi were getting along again. It had seemed like there was hostility between them for way too long; there had been months of cussing each other out, the tone of the room always becoming impossibly tense when they were near each other, especially when Dave was around.

Taking great care to be quiet, Kanaya exited the room and headed to the library to do some non-explosive studying for a few hours until everyone else started waking up.

Kanaya and Rose sat in Rose's room, eating lunch without much conversation. Kanaya had asked Rose about her dream earlier in the day. Rose had looked thoughtful. Kanaya had thought she had seen a tiny glint in her friend's eye, an emotion that she hadn't had time to analyze before it was gone, assuming it was even there in the first place.

Rose had taken some time to think about her answer before replying. "Some dreams can have a specific meaning, as you already know," she began, tapping her chin, "and others are just collective images and ideas from someone's active sub-conscious. There's no telling what this particular dream actually meant, I'm afraid. Some dreams are easier to understand after some time passes, and others end up being complete nonsense. This one could be of any cause, but it is nearly impossible to confirm an analysis of something so abstract as the dreaming mind."

She smiled and added, "I'm sure that if this dream is of important significance, you'll figure it out eventually."

They had both stopped talking after that, lost in thought. Kanaya didn't have a clue what Rose was thinking, but she wasn't really worried about that at the time. She was mostly thinking about the dream she had. She knew it was probably really stupid and she was over-thinking the whole thing, but there was just something about that red-hot glowing, pulsing light radiation from Rose's skin, her frightening yet deeply captivating, even hypnotic eyes, and her laugh. She especially thought of that laugh. Something about that laugh was simply intriguing; there was just something about it that completely and utterly stumped Kanaya. She was rarely stumped, being bright as she was.

Eventually her thoughts changed course and focused on Karkat and Terezi. Kanaya decided she would have to speak to one of them about this situation. She wasn't totally sure that their couch cuddling was enough to revive their relationship, and she wanted to help.

Carried away in her thoughts, Kanaya didn't realize that she was smiling softly to herself. Rose did.

"What's on your mind, Maryam?" Kanaya jumped at the sudden interruption.

"Oh, nothing, I'm just a bit worried about Karkat and Terezi. I think I'm going to see if I can help them out somehow."

Rose smiled, her clean white teeth shining in the well-lit room. Her smile was quite pretty.

"Ok, you should probably go check on them. I think I'll knit Strider a nice ironic scarf. He seems like he needs one." Now it was Kanaya's turn to smile again.

"Yeah, I think I'll go do that. Have fun knitting your scarf." She nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her.

Kanaya ended up finding Karkat in the same room he had been sleeping in early that morning. He was spaced out on the couch with a dazed and slightly dreamy expression. Yup, there was definitely something going on.

He snapped back to reality upon Kanaya's entrance, trying to play it off like he had been concentrating on the TV. Unfortunately for him, his attempt was pathetic in Kanaya's mind, because he still didn't seem very focused and probably didn't even know what was on the screen. It was something about a confusing auspistice quadrant relationship where the auspistice was moirails with one of his subjects and matesprites with another, some shit like that. Karkat's shows are often difficult to comprehend for someone who doesn't spend half the time Karkat spends watching dramas and romance movies that almost nobody else had heard of. Including Kanaya.

"What... the fuck you want...?" He asked halfheartedly, still in a daze.

Kanaya was slightly surprised by his uncharacteristic lack of anger. She decided to approach the topic as casually as she could, trying not to be over-casual.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing . You seem like there's something assailing your think-pan of late, and I was concerned for your well being." Eh, casual enough.

Karkat didn't seem to want to talk about his feelings. At full attention now, he replied with the expected curt answer of "nothing". Sensing that his statement hardly sounded sincere, he added, "Nothing's bothering me, Kanaya. Fuck off."

Kanaya felt satisfied that he was at least ok by the slight growl in his voice. It was quite amusing, actually. But that answer wasn't good enough for her. The answer she desired was right in front of her. Kanaya continued, smoothly and calmly. "How are things going with Terezi?"

Karkat's facial expression changed then from somewhat irritated to suspicious and wary. "It's complicated," he started, "it's impossible to put into words how we feel about each other, especially with Strider around."

Kanaya noticed the venom he put in to "Strider" when he said this.

"But you should know. I guess if you think about it, our situations aren't that different, at least in the complicated respect." He shrugged.

Kanaya's eyes widened in surprise. What was he talking about? She wasn't in a situation at all! She wasn't even in _one_ quadrant with _anyone_! After assuring Karkat that she had no idea what he was talking about, Kanaya retreated to her room to get some sewing done.

She was working on a new dress for a casual occasion. It was purple and simple with some fringe to touch it up a little. Kanaya enjoyed and admired the beauty in simplicity, and felt intense pride working on something that could turn out so pretty.

Several hours later, Kanaya finished. She was starving. It felt like forever since she and Rose had eaten lunch, and she had worked up an appetite making her dress. She decided to make a sandwich and then go visit her friend for a while before retiring to her room for some sleep after another long day of fucking around.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been several days since Kanaya had talked to Karkat about Terezi. She had mostly spent her time sewing or hanging out with Rose and sometimes Dave since then. Occasionally she watched Rose knit. It was fascinating how quickly and gracefully she could move those knitting needles, never breaking rhythm, and always resulting in a beautiful and unique new creation. It seemed that she could knit anything in the universe, or wherever the hell they were at the moment.

Kanaya frequently saw Karkat and Terezi as well as Rose and Dave. Their conversations with each other seemed to constantly toggle between red and black feelings. They were either getting along nicely with a bit of friendly teasing, or shouting in each other's faces, in an unspoken competition to see who could yell the loudest, most colorful words possible. It was a truly horrible thing to watch when it got really bad. Kanaya wondered how the HELL they both managed to speak without their voices failing them with all the screaming going on.

At one point, Kanaya had found Terezi under a chair, crying her eyes out because of some horrible exclamation from Karkat. Kanaya felt awful, but couldn't think of anything she could do to help them out. What was she supposed to do, become their auspistice? That sounded pretty awkward to her, and she didn't really want a position in that quadrant.

Currently, Kanaya was in her room with Rose, enjoying the silent company of her friend. They didn't talk as much as many girls their age seemed to, which was fine with both of them.

Kanaya was polishing her chainsaw, which was long overdue. It had collected way too much dust for her comfort over the past few months of painful neglect. Rose was writing in her journal, looking up to stare into space every now and then to think about the next idea to put was still writing when Kanaya finished her chainsaw maintenance. She set it down gently on the floor.

Rose seemed deeply caught up in her writing, making Kanaya mildly curious. She peered over Rose's shoulder to see that she was writing a haiku. Kanaya loved haiku's for their meaningful simplicity; she found it amazingly beautiful in this respect.

Now very curious, she proceeded to read the small poem written by Rose, saying the words as she read them lightly under her breath, quiet enough that Rose wouldn't notice.

"_In my time to go_  
_My heaven will be their hell_  
_And our paths will cross_."

That was odd. Kanaya had never seen a poem written like this, but Rose did happen to be the gothic seer of light... She must have known what she was talking about, even if Kanaya didn't. She supposed that this was just Rose's way of expressing a private train of thought that Kanaya was probably none of Kanaya's business.

Her thoughts came right out of her mouth before she could even think about weather or not to say anything.

"That is very pretty."

Rose whirled around, her eyes wide in surprise. She closed her journal, looking very embarrassed. Her face flushed a light shade of red.

"Oh, you read that?"

She looked down, setting the journal on the floor. Kanaya grimaced. She hadn't meant to make Rose uncomfortable.

"Oops, I'm sorry."

Her face fell, her face flushing as well, from gray to green in an instant. Rose obviously didn't like to share her writing, and Kanaya went and read her personal thoughts! How stupid could she get! She was in the process of beating herself to a pulp inside of her head when Rose answered her.

"It's ok, Kanaya, you were curious, and I understand."

She smiled halfheartedly in an attempt to make Kanaya feel better. It didn't work. She shook her head, still blushing, needing to get out of this awkward situation desperately. It wasn't a very big deal, what just happened, but for some reason, to Kanaya it was a crisis, the moment sticking in her head and giving her one thought: she needed out.

"You don't need to be like that, I'll forget I ever read it, even though it was very good, to say the least."

Rose opened her mouth to object, but Kanaya was already out the door. She shut it behind her and began walking aimlessly down the long corridors of the gigantic meteor hive thing. In her walking and thinking and staring at the floor, Kanaya slammed right into Terezi.

"Hey, watch it! Make use of your ability to watch where you are going in the future!"

She grinned ear to ear like she usually does, and Kanaya noticed that Terezi's face was smeared with lip gloss. Her and Karkat must be having a good day today, Kanaya thought. Her answer was flat and just a mumble.

"Sorry."

She walked away without allowing Terezi to say anything more. After a little more walking, she nearly crashed similarly into a once again stunned Karkat.

Kanaya immediately noticed that his face was smeared with lip gloss in a similar way to Terezi's. Stepping around him, she continued down the dark corridor, not stopping until she reached the transportalizer to the living room. She sat down on the sofa and buried her head in her hands.

Hours later, Rose and Dave were now planted in chairs opposite to hers, sitting in the library. Dave was wearing the scarf Rose had knitted for him. It was red with a brilliant pattern that looked wild but genius pattern. It reminded Kanaya of a calm but deadly flame, always ready to leap at it's next victim, but always patient and willing to dance until death. It was absolutely brilliant, and fit Dave in every way possible. He had called it ironic, which he seemed to call everything he did, said, and wore. Kanaya didn't understand this, but she figured it didn't matter as long as he was happy.

At the moment they were discussing Dave's views on the Karkat and Terezi situation, though Kanaya wasn't doing much of the talking. She felt like she would be interrupting, especially after her invasion of Rose's personal thoughta earlier that day.

"...I mean, I can't stand the clusterfuck of a dude. He doesn't deserve a girlfriend or whatever the fuck you trolls call it."

He nodded at Kanaya.

"Their fighting is sometimes actually amusing in the sense that it hurts him, in an ironic way of course, but I feel pretty bad about what Terezi has to go through. Karkat doesn't deserve her. He's being a huge douche."

Dave finished with a huff. Rose nodded her head slowly in understanding. She began to tell Dave what she thought of his feelings, perfectly portraying a real therapist in an office, the way she looked him in the eye calmly and spoke smoothly and without flaws or hesitations.

Kanaya looked at her, attempting to listen intently to what Rose had to say, but had some trouble focusing on her words. She was too busy staring into her eyes. She hadn't noticed before, but Rose's eyes were intensely beautiful, unlike anything else Kanaya had ever seen. If the base color wasn't astonishing enough, a deep violet with a pinkish tint, upon closer inspection, Kanaya noticed that they had flecks of a somehow silvery purple that seemed to sparkle in the light. The way those eyes stared calmly and relaxed into Dave's as she spoke, glistening every time she opened them after each icily focused blink.

Kanaya realized that she had been leaning forward in an attempt to get a better look at those magnificent irises, and quickly caught herself, sitting back in her chair, running her hand through her hair and averting her attention back to Rose's words.

"You see, Dave, it's completely normal how you feel about this whole situation, but trying to make Karkat jealous isn't going to help anyone. It may just end up making the situation worse for Terezi. Karkat may take out his worsened anger on her even more than he already is, and as a friend, you should know that doing that to her is wrong."

Dave looked thoughtful behind his totally badass shades.

"I never thought of it that way. I think you're probably right. Thanks, Rose."

Rose nodded and smiled her pretty smile.

"No problem, Dave. Treat Terezi well, and try to keep an eye on those two, don't let Karkat hurt her too badly."

Dave nodded, and they embraced, like true siblings after a mature conversation, and Dave transportalized out of the room.

Kanaya thought about her own eyes. They were boring, exactly the same as any other young troll. Orange with black irises. Hmph. She realized that Rose was speaking to her just in time to hear the full sentence.

"Basic psychology step 1: know your subject's emotions. Step 2: think about how their actions can affect other people and their feelings, directly and indirectly."

Kanaya bobbed her head lazily.

"Yes, you always seem to know how to help people, Rose."

And she meant it.


	3. Chapter 3

Kanaya had spent the afternoon in the living room, doing nothing but staring blankly at the wall. She was too tired to read, and didn't feel like talking, so she just sat. After three hours of looking and feeling like a highly fashionable zombie, Kanaya slowly rose from the couch, still staring at a certain point of the wall. She stretched, her head pounding for a few seconds, and then swimming with fuzzy dizziness. She collected herself, rubbing her temples, and headed towards the kitchen to satisfy the gnawing hunger that had suddenly developed in her seemingly empty stomach.

She had almost reached the kitchen transportalizer when she saw the silhouettes of Karkat and Terezi. She walked a smidgen closer for the sake of better lighting. Karkat had his arms wrapped around Terezi. He leaned over, kissing her passionately. Terezi pulled away from his lips and wrenched his arms away from her, smacking him harshly in the face. Time seemed to stop as the sound of her slap echoed throughout the empty corridor.

"What the fuck was that for?"

There was genuine hurt in his eyes, not from the hit he just took, but from the pain of her cold rejection. Terezi didn't answer, just spun on her heel and stormed away.

Kanaya watched, horrified, her feet glued to the floor, her green lips parted somewhat in complete shock. There were tears in Karkat's eyes, one managing to slide down his cheek before he wiped it away. Kanaya watched as he hung his head and started to walk in the opposite direction than the one Terezi had taken. His feet scraped the floor as he walked, and Kanaya could see his sadness quickly replaced by anger. He let a scream of rage escape his throat. He punched the wall, recoiling with pain from knuckle hitting stone. Tears now ran freely down his face, tears of anger, of sadness, tears of defeat.

Kanaya could just stand there, unable to move or to speak. Her heart throbbed with empathy for Karkat. She could only imagine how he was feeling. He started down the hall again, clutching his injured hand in his other. It was several seconds before Kanaya found the will to move again. She had been heading for the kitchen, but now she had lost her appetite. Her stomach felt sick.

Kanaya changed coarse and ended up at Rose's door. She hadn't been paying attention to where she was going, she just sort of ended up there. She guessed it had just become a sort of second nature to go and visit Rose when something was bothering her. That was what friends were for, right? Oh well. Kanaya knocked three times, hearing the word, "enter" from behind the door. She turned the knob and complied. Rose was sitting on the bed, knitting what appeared to be a sweater. Rose looked up from her work, her violet eyes twinkling when she saw who it was.

"Where have you been all day?"

She cocked her head slightly to the left, curiosity and happiness eminent on her facial expression. "Around," Kanaya replied brusquely, then, sitting opposite to Rose, proceeded to tell her about what had just taken place between Karkat and Terezi in the hallway. Rose's expression hardened into a more serious look, her shiny lips pursing in concentration, her eyes darkening in concern. By the time Kanaya finished, Rose looked deeply worried. After a minute of contemplation, she began speaking.

"Karkat's temper tantrum can't be good for his health."

She sighed, closing her eyes and furrowing her brow.

"Knowing him, he's probably shut up in his room, screaming until his voice is completely ruined."

She got up, shaking her head and opening her eyes.

"We should probably check up on both of them. To make things faster, we should probably each visit one of them."

Kanaya's heart sank. For some reason, she loathed the idea of splitting up so soon after meeting up with Rose. Rose continued without pausing.

"I'll go calm down Karkat, you talk to Terezi. They need to learn to respect each other."

Rose then proceeded to explain her totally cliche plan to Kanaya. Eh, sometimes cliche could be the way to go. So, shrugging, Kanaya started to advance on to Terezi's room. Rose accompanied her until they had to part ways at an intersection. Nodding to each other, they went their separate ways, Kanaya's heart sinking once again for reasons unknown to her. She continued down the long hallway, feeling alone in the wide, echoing passage. Finally she reached Terezi's door. She could hear muffled shouts from inside the room. It sounded like,

"You don't see a coin? Well I don't see NOTHING! Get over it, bub, and jump in the damn fire!"

Kanaya's eyes widened in disturbance. She burst into the room without knocking to see Terezi facing in the other direction, holding a yellow dragon doll that appeared to be covered in messily drawn gray chalk with some black scribbled around and on top of it. What was going on? She was holding it by a rope, and Kanaya couldn't tell if she was snarling or grinning menacingly, or maybe a mix of both. There was a hole in her floor that was filled with burning embers, and topped over with a small living flame. Terezi dangled the doll over the fire, waving it around, cackling quietly.

"What are you doing!"

Kanaya made herself noticed, seeming as Terezi hadn't heard her enter. Terezi spun around, still holding the doll. Kanaya now saw that it had orange chalk scribbled all over its face, made to look like a sloppy and purposefully offensive mockery of Karkat. She dropped it on the fire quickly, licking her lips. Kanaya couldn't see the fire from behind Terezi, but she heard a light sizzling sound, imagining the doll's eyes melting and the chalk dripping from it's originally yellow body and into the fire... Kanaya pushed the thought away. Terezi was looking at her, sightlessly but intently, waiting for an explanation for the intrusion. Kanaya cleared her throat, trying to think of exactly what she meant to say.

"Uh, hi Terezi... I just wanted to ask you... why did you hit Karkat when..."

She trailed off, feeling awkward. She looked down at her feet. Terezi licked her lips again.

"The ass-hole thinks he can just spend the whole week cussing out a girl and then suddenly, just kiss her without a problem?"

She looked angry now.

"Well he can't."

Her arms were folded now, and she was scowling. Kanaya flinched. Terezi had a point.

"Well, uh, Karkat didn't take it so great... I just thought that maybe you should give him another chance."

Terezi sighed heavily, holding her thumb against her temple, her elbow resting on a side table.

"Meh. I'll think about it. What are you suggesting I do with him?"

Kanaya was surprised at the lack of the argument she was expecting in the conversation.

"W-well we were all going to watch a movie tomorrow night, excluding Dave, who doesn't want to go. Maybe you would like to come?"

Kanaya stared at Terezi hopefully, begging her inside of her head, pleading with eyes that she knew Terezi couldn't see. Terezi hesitated.

"What time is the thing?"

Kanaya sighed in relief.

"Eight."

Her message had been conveyed. She nodded to Terezi, then remembered she couldn't see, and muttering a "thanks" instead, left the room. Terezi was grinning ear to ear.

The next day dragged by painfully slowly. Kanaya had spent the majority of the day in the library, and then some of the afternoon designing clothes to create later on her trusty sewing machine. Finally, it was 8:00. Kanaya had spent the past half hour trying to decide what to wear for the event, and reapplying her makeup. She ended up settling for a black dress with green embroidery. Simple, but beautiful. Just the way she liked it. She topped it off with some green lipstick, and headed out, arriving ten minutes early.

Now, at eight, she sat on one of the plush sofas with Rose. Karkat was planted next to an icily calm Terezi on the other sofa, fidgeting awkwardly, seemingly unable to get comfortable. His hand was wrapped in bandages applied after foolishly punching the wall yesterday. Kanaya was just relieved that Terezi decided to show up.

The movie ended up being an intense drama flick with a little too much porn for Kanaya's preference. Feeling quite uncomfortable during these parts, she felt the need to look away. At one point, she looked over at Karkat and Terezi, and Karkat was making a pathetic attempt to put his arm around Terezi, who in turn gently slapped it away. At least he didn't seem to take too much offense; he was aware of the lameness of his gesture.

Towards the middle of the movie, Kanaya found herself whispering with Rose about the actors.

"How do you think the actors manage to act like they're in love with each other when they really aren't?"

The idea seemed so weird to her.

"They probably try and see little details about the other actor to make the experience a bit more enjoyable. In some cases, actors actually do fall for each other in the process of making these movies."

Kanaya thought about this.

"But not just actors pretending to be in love see little things about each other, right?"

Rose smiled, making Kanaya's heart flutter.

"No, of coarse not. I notice things about you all the time, and I'm not pretending to be in love with you."

She locked eyes with Kanaya. They truly were gorgeous. They currently glittered reflections from the movie screen.

"Who's pretending?"

Kanaya watched Rose's eyes sparkle, and then begin to close as she leaned in and pressed her lips to Kanaya's. Kanaya's heart leaped out of her chest, beginning to beat rapidly. She wrapped her arms around Rose and returned the kiss before realizing what she was doing. She pulled away, eyes wide with shock and confusion. She stood up and bolted out of the room without another word.


	4. Chapter 4

Kanaya ran through the hallway at a full sprint, tripping on her dress as she ran. She dug her fangs into her lower lip to keep her tears back, drawing green blood that dribbled down her chin. The dark corridor loomed in front and behind her, seeming to go on forever. Her shadow danced on the wall, the echoes of her footsteps booming alongside her, following her on through the meteor.

Her thoughts screamed in her head, tormenting her as she ran. What the hell had she just done? She had kissed her best friend and run away! She hadn't even known that Rose felt that way about other females. Was she catching on to troll customs, or was she just what humans called a "homosexual"? Kanaya had sensed that Rose was different from the others, and admired her for it, but she never would have guessed that she had feelings for her!

Kanaya finally reached her room. She darted in, slamming the door behind her. She flipped on the bathroom light and stared at her reflection, panting tremulously, for an excruciatingly long period of time. Her appearance disturbed her greatly. Perspiration glistened on her forehead. Her hair was a mess from running through the hall. Green blood mixed with green lipstick crusted on her chin. Over-top of the green mess, or perhaps underneath, Kanaya noticed a thin layer of purple lipstick. She closed her eyes and put her head in her hands, allowing a single tear to run down her cheek. She then rinsed the blood and lipstick off of her face, and plopped down on her bed. Her thoughts continued to torment her as she stared at the wall of the dark room. It was several long hours before she managed to sink into a restless, haunted sleep.

Kanaya awoke the next morning feeling horrible. Her hair was matted in clumps and she still had most of her makeup on from the previous night. She sat on her bed, still wearing her dress she had on last night, too. She continued the thought process that had been bugging her all night. Could she have seen this coming? Probably. Or maybe not. She didn't know anything anymore. But why did it...?

A new thought occurred to her. Hadn't she wanted this? She was always thinking about Rose's eyes and smile; everything about that girl was unique and magnificent. She was beautiful in every respect Kanaya could think of. Why had this situation bothered her? Why had she run away? Tears welled up in her eyes. Back to the main question. What had she done? Oh Jegus, what had she done? Picking herself off the bed, Kanaya threw on some fresh clothes and ran a comb through her hair. She hurried out of the room, slamming the door behind her in her rush. She made her way through the long corridor as quickly as she could without breaking a sweat, and after what felt like forever, she was standing in front of Rose's door.

She hesitated before knocking three times, just like always.

"Who is it?"

Rose's voice sounded hollow and vaguely wary. Kanaya winced.

"It-it's Kanaya... May I enter?"

There was a pause before Rose replied.

"Yeah... Come in, Kanaya..."

Kanaya was genuinely concerned now. She opened the door and entered to find Rose sitting cross-legged on her bed, looking rather gloomy. Her eyes were dull and had dark shadows underneath them. Her shoulders were hunched. Kanaya's heart wrenched at the sight of her friend like this. She walked over and sat opposite to her like she always used to. The words she meant to say all came tumbling out if her mouth at once.

"Rose, I'm so sorry about what happened last night. I just didn't, I don't know..."

She trailed off, staring downward miserably. Rose signed.

"No, it's fine, Kanaya. You just don't feel the same way about me as I feel about you. It's not your fault."

Kanaya wanted to scream in misery. She looked back up, determination on her face.

"But that's the thing, Rose, I do feel the same way."

Rose didn't look convinced. She shook her head.

"Kanaya, you don't have to lie to make me feel better. What's done is done."

That was enough. Determination to prove herself rushed through Kanaya's senses, controlling her movements. She pulled Rose in an embrace and kissed her just as Rose had done the previous night. Many seconds later, Kanaya pulled away, locking eyes with Rose. Rose was speechless. All she could do was smile through fresh tears and pull Kanaya into a meaningful hug.

Kanaya strolled into the living room. Karkat sat on the couch with Terezi. It seemed like they really hit it off with the movie thing, but she hadn't seen either of them since she ran away.

"Hey Kanaya, Haven't seen you since last night. What happened to you?"

Kanaya's heart sped up. Had Karkat seen what happened before she ran?

"Um, What happened with... what... exactly...?"

Karkat looked confused.

"What? How the fuck could you not know what I'm talking about? In the middle of the movie you just stood up and ran away! I heard whispers before you left. Did Rose say something wrong?"

Kanaya sighed in relief. He had only seen her run. Now she just had to think of a good cover.

"I... wasn't feeling well. I'm fine now."

He raised an eyebrow, then shrugged.

"Eh, ok. Glad you're all good now."

He turned back to Terezi. Kanaya took this as her cue to leave. She stepped to the side awkwardly and exited the room to go grab something to eat.

Kanaya ate with Rose in the library. Neither of them mentioned anything that happened between them, they just sat and read, taking notes as they went along. Kanaya and Rose were eating different meals, and Kanaya's tasted kind of funny, but she was too hungry to care. Leftovers often taste kinda different than fresh food, after all.

They studied silently together for an hour before Terezi approached them alone. Hmm, maybe she needed a break from Karkat... Oh no, were they fighting again?! Terezi stopped in front of her, just a little too close to Kanaya's face for her preference.

"Terezi, is everything ok? You haven't been fighting with Karkat again, have you?"

Terezi shook her head.

"No, nothing like that. I just wanted to speak to you."

She left out the words, "in private", but the hint was obvious like she screamed it to the sky. Yes. It was that obvious. Rose rolled her eyes and motioned for them to leave with their conversation. Kanaya stifled a chuckle at Rose's stubbornness. It was cute. She followed Terezi out of the room and into the hallway, where Terezi began to whisper in her ear.

"I saw what happened between you and Rose last night. I made sure that Karkat didn't see. You're welcome."

And she left. So Terezi saw. Thankfully, she didn't seem like she planned on talking to Karkat about it. Good. The last thing she needed was Karkat bugging her about the situation. She smiled in satisfaction and returned to the library.

It was not long before Kanaya's stomach began to hurt, and then ache. Eventually, the pain became unbearable. Kanaya doubled over, moaning, her hands clutching her stomach. She gasped for breath, vomiting on the floor. Her stomach heaved with spasms.

"Kanaya, are you all right?!"

Rose's shouts of concern echoed throughout the library, but Kanaya was already unconscious.


	5. Chapter 5

Kanaya opened her bleary eyes slowly, blinking in the weak light. She felt like there were animals running around in her stomach, tumbling around, carelessly clawing and scratching at her insides. She was lying in her bed, the covers neatly tucked just below her chin.

"Oh good, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

Rose sat on the foot of her bed. Her warm smile made Kanaya feel light and fuzzy. She weakly returned the smile.

"What... happened... exactly...?" She croaked.

Rose scooted a little closer to Kanaya.

"You got sick and passed out. I think you had food poisoning, from the way you frowned while eating your food,"

God she was observant.

"So we carried you to your room and I've been here ever since, to keep an eye on you."

Kanaya glanced at the clock. Her heart flipped. It had been roughly four hours since she had passed out in the library. Rose had stayed with her for all that time? Kanaya's heart swelled with gratitude and appreciation.

"Rose..."

She was at a loss for words. Kanaya worked up a genuine, thankful smile. By now Rose had scooted very close to Kanaya's face. She sat criss-cross on the bed, caressing Kanaya's head.

"It's all going to be all right, Kanaya,"

she whispered in her ear,

"Rest now. I'll see you in the morning."

Rose kissed her on the cheek and turned to leave.

"No!"

Kanaya nearly jumped from the bed. A fresh stab of pain coursed through her stomach, and Kanaya grimaced. Rose turned back around in surprise.

"Please stay."

Kanaya was pleading now, staring into Rose's eyes; they were a gorgeous shade of lavender in the dim lighting, wide with apparent shock.

"Um, ok."

She sat back down on the bed next to Kanaya. Kanaya was fading now, feeling soothed and happy. So, satisfied, she drifted into a deep sleep.

Kanaya woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. Her stomach felt considerably better, only aching a fraction of what it had hurt the previous day. Rose was fast asleep next to her, on top of the blankets. Kanaya rose quietly, trying not to move too much to prevent waking Rose. She smiled in fresh gratitude, making a mental note to pay her back for this somehow.

She picked out something to wear, and quickly changed in the bathroom. When she came back out, Rose was beginning to stir.

"Good morning," she mumbled, still half asleep.

"Morning, Rose," Kanaya replied cheerfully,

"Thank you for staying with me all that time."

Rose sat up slowly, stretching.

"Why would you need to thank me? I never wanted to leave."

She finished stretching and stared into Kanaya's eyes. Kanaya blushed.

Kanaya sat with Rose and Dave in the living room. Dave was showing off his "sweet raps." Kanaya wasn't really listening. She didn't really understand the things he was rapping about, but she didn't dare ask him. She knew he was sensitive to the fact that he only knew what had been going on in 2009 on Earth, and nothing recent. So, she continued to pretend like she gave a shit, and instead thought about how close Rose was sitting to her. She was trying to will her palms to stop sweating. She was also wondering about what Karkat and Terezi were whispering about on the other side of the room. She thought she heard, "matters to me" from Karkat, and then a loud "SHHH!" from Terezi. Kanaya rolled her eyes and shook her head a little.

"Sup, Kanaya, not digging my fine rhythms?"

Kanaya jumped. Damn it, she forgot she had forgotten that Dave was standing in front of her, rapping.

"Oh, no Dave, I was just thinking."

Dave's dark shades gleamed.

"Well, you best be paying attention. There are life lessons to be learned from my shit."

Kanaya sighed audibly as Dave continued his endless rapid-fire rhyme strings. Rose reached out and took her hand indistinctly, managing to avoid Dave's attention. Kanaya, comforted, continued to ignore Dave's rapping.

Karkat sat with Terezi on the other side of the room. He was eying Kanaya and Rose suspiciously.

"Hey, Terezi, don't you think Kanaya and Rose are sitting kinda close together? You think they have a thing?"

Terezi licked her lips.

"It's a cramped couch. What's it matter to you anyway?"

Karkat frowned, fighting the urge to growl at Terezi.

"Do you fucking not know me all of a sudden? I fucking live for romantic shit. Have you seen my amazingly vast movie collection? It's the best fucking thing that exists. Of course this fucking matters to me!"

Terezi smacked a hand over his mouth.

"_SHHH_! Not so loud, Karkles, they are _right over there_!"

Karkat flung her hand off his mouth, spitting on the floor. Her hand tasted like _chalk_. He was about to snap at her when he realized that Dave had stopped rapping and was speaking directly to Kanaya. When he had finished, Karkat saw Kanaya sigh openly, then Rose's hand slyly wrapping around Kanaya's. It was such a minuscule motion that Karkat almost didn't see it. He doubted that Dave noticed, but Karkat had an eye for sly romantic gestures such as these.

"Yes, Terezi, I think something is going on."

Kanaya walked slowly down the hallway, Rose closely by her side. Kanaya was exhausted; Dave's rap had gone on non-stop for nearly three hours. It's a good thing Rose was there, Kanaya thought, or I would have gone insane. They made their way to Rose's room, silently except for the *clomp clomp of their footsteps on the hard stone floor, in no rush to get to their destination. As they neared Rose's door, Kanaya thought she heard a sound. She stopped, putting a finger to her lips. She heard it again. Honk. Kanaya gasped in fear.

"Rose, we need to get out of here."

Rose's eyes widened, saying nothing. She followed Kanaya as she pelted down the long corridor. She changed coarse, heading to her own room, as the noise grew louder and louder. Honk. **Honk**. **HONK**. She continued sprinting, as fast as her legs could carry her, running for Rose's life as well as hers.


	6. Chapter 6

Kanaya slammed the door behind her as she and Rose arrived at their destination. They both just stood there panting for a moment, hands clutching their knees. When Kanaya had caught her breath, she crossed the room and picked up her chainsaw and slid the cover off of the blade in a way that gave her the brief sensation of looking totally epic. She shook away the proud thought and looked back over to Rose. She was lifting her head slowly.

"Those honks. They were Gamzee, weren't they?"

She had a look of dread painted across her face, darkening her eyes to a wonderful yet ominous gray magenta. Kanaya lowered her chainsaw, but didn't put it down.

"Yes, Rose, that could only have been him. I wonder why he would be back here after hiding all that time."

Kanaya frowned.

"I just hope this doesn't go like it did a couple of years ago before his disappearance."

Rose wore a look of mild disturbance to match her suddenly dull eyes. Of course Rose had heard what had happened the last time Gamzee was around. Kanaya could tell that Rose was trying to look calm and collective to the best of her ability, but the depths of her eyes betrayed traces of unmistakable fear. A wave of uncertainty swept over Kanaya, chilling her to the bones. If Rose was scared, then this was obviously a very serious issue. Kanaya walked over to the door, doing her best to act reassuringly calm, mirroring Rose's graceful coolness as she strode back across to the other side of the room.

"I'm sorry, Rose, but this is something I have to do. I never had such a magnificent opportunity to avenge the trolls slain by Makara's hand, and I may not get another one."

Rose stood up, her back straight, all traces and fear instantly vanishing. Instead, her expression was that of a fierce determination that Kanaya had never seen on anyone, human or troll.

"I'm coming with you."

Rose held a finger to Kanaya's black lips before she could protest.

"Shhhhh! Before you give me crap about how it's dangerous and other horseshit you saw on TV, let me explain myself. I will not let you go off and do something stupidly dangerous by yourself on your own. I'll be there with you every step of the way, and there's nothing you can do about it, no matter how shitty and cliche this all sounds."

Kanaya heaved a sigh. There really was nothing she could do to stop Rose from coming with her. Even if she left her here, she would just follow behind like a faithful pet. No, Rose couldn't be compared to a pet. She was more than just a loyal companion, she was her best friend. No, not just that. Rose meant more to her than that. Kanaya shook her thoughts away and gave a resigned nod of approval. She stepped through the doorway, closing it behind Rose. She paused to listen. Honk. Bingo. She followed the faint noise to her left in an efficient speed walk, holding her chainsaw in front of her for when they encountered Gamzee.

About 100 years along the passage, Kanaya stole a glance behind her shoulder to see if Rose was keeping up well. To her surprise, Rose was right behind her, following stride for stride, but Kanaya could have sworn she hadn't heard footsteps so close behind her. What was even more peculiar was that Rose's skin seemed to be many shades darker than usual, even gray. She had a horrifyingly cold look on her face and her pinkish eyes seemed to gleam menacingly. Oh well. It was probably just the dim lighting.

She continued on, thoughts concentrated back on Makara. They were making great time, the steady 'honk' noises growing louder as they approached. She sneaked another peak at Rose. Her skin appeared to be back to its normal hue, her facial expression less sinister. It had probably just been her imagination after all. She started to move faster, speeding towards the now clearly heard honks. She stopped abruptly as she as she nearly crashed into Karkat and Terezi, who, to Kanaya's discomfort, were making out quite sloppily.

"Uh, Karkat... Terezi..."

Kanaya tried, desperate to get a move on. When she got no result, sighed deeply and pried them apart with her bare hands. They came apart slowly with a loud noise and stared at her stupidly. She knew that Terezi couldn't see her, and doubted that Karkat could either with that dazed look on his face. He wiped some saliva off of his face and shook his head violently, turning back towards Terezi.

"What the fuck, Terezi! All you ever do is try to get a taste of me! Go ahead, lick me up all over! What do you fucking hope to gain from all of this shit anyway? Are you hoping to taste every inch of my body? I bet you'd fucking like that, wouldn't you! Oh, I know what you'll say now."

He raised his voice to an irritating mock girl squeak.

"But Karkles, if I tasted your whole motherfucking body, I wouldn't be licking much at all!"

He started to unintentionally lower his voice back in the last few words of his sentence. He was shouting now.

"I get it! I'm motherfucking short! No need to-mmMM-!"

Kanaya had clapped her hand over his mouth. She gave a warning look to an infuriated Terezi who had opened her mouth to reply. Her face was turning green with rage, but she must have sensed Kanaya's look because she didn't say anything, just crossed her arms and snarled, digging her nails into her bare arms, probably to prevent herself from exploding in anger. Kanaya took her hand off of Karkat's mouth and began to speak in an urgent whisper.

"Shhhhh! You two can fight it out all you want, but get to one of your rooms! Gamzee is around."

Kanaya thought she saw a flash of alarm in Terezi's big red eyes. She shrugged it off. Who wouldn't be worried about Gamzee roaming around?

"Just go. And make sure Dave is alright, too."

Without waiting for a reply, she started off again, Rose following at her heels. The honks were growing louder as they steadily approached. He was close. With a jolt Kanaya realized that he must be around the next corner. She felt adrenaline rush through her body, and she struggled not to shake with anticipation. Sweat trickled down her forehead. She doubled her guard as she rounded the bend and she was painfully aware of how slow everything seemed. The world felt frozen and all she could feel was the distant pounding of her heart in her tight feeling chest. Slowly, slowly she rounded the bend... There he stood, facing the other direction. He was wearing his purple god tier outfit, Faygo in hand.

"Terezi?"

He turned around in what felt like slow motion. Surprise sparked in his eyes as he turned to face Kanaya and Rose.

"Well hello, motherfucker."

A grin played across his heavily made up mouth, his teeth glinting in the half light. Kanaya stepped forward bravely, chainsaw held in a ready position. She ignored the questions that swam through her mind and forced a death stare onto her face.

"Gamzee, you dumb bitch. You know being here makes you a target for termination."

Gamzee didn't seem the least bit surprised. His grin vanished, replaced by a sinister, almost evil stare that beat out Kanaya's death stare by about 200%. His bright yellow eyes flashed like a demon's.

"Well, I motherfucking expected as much from you, Maryam. But I'm afraid that if we all up and can't be motherfucking friends, then oh, shit."

His face darkened freakishly.

"We're enemies."

His hand reached inside his purple cloak thing, to some unseen pocket inside, and returned with a single object. It was a golden throwing star. A big one, too. Big and shiny. It didn't look like the kind ninjas use. Upon further squinted inspection from across the room Kanaya realized it was shaped like a sun. The same sun that was on Rose's god tier pajama clothes. Kanaya reached for the start-up handle of her chainsaw, but couldn't seem to grip it with all of the sweat moistening her tremulous palms.

She was too late anyway. What followed happened so fast that Kanaya would never remember exactly what happened. Gamzee drew back his arm and let the "throwing sun" glide across the room from a gracefully flicked wrist. The next thing she knew, Rose was in front of her, arms extended. For a moment she just stood like that, trembling. Then she slumped to the ground.

Kanaya stood there paralyzed, staring at the unmoving form of Rose on the ground. She barely heard Gamzee's next smug comment through her horrified daze.

"I think I've fucked enough shit up for one night. Now I can all up and motherfucking leave."

Kanaya didn't look up, just dropped to her knees next to Rose. She inspected the damage that Gamzee had inflicted on the poor human female. She felt her stomach lurch when she brought herself to look at what the throwing star had done. Violet blood drenched her orange clothes in the stomach area, and Kanaya couldn't bring herself to look underneath to see what the wound looked like. Not yet at least. For now all she could do was hurry Rose to her bed as carefully and quickly as physically possible.

She hoisted Rose into her arms, taking care not to disturb the soaked portion of her outfit, not out of squeamishness, but to be gentle around her stomach where she undoubtably felt unbearable and sickening pain. Kanaya's own stomach churned just thinking about how Rose must be feeling; she was making little moaning noises, telling Kanaya that she was still conscious and not feeling all too marvelous either. Kanaya pushed the thought away and focused on getting Rose to her room.

Carefully, she stood up, wobbling a little under Rose's weight. She proceeded to Rose's room, walking as quickly as she could with her fragile and heavy load. The trip was much too long for Kanaya's preference; she was painfully aware of all the blood that her companion was losing. She tried several times to quicken the pace, but after tripping and almost falling with the injured seer still in her arms, she gave up and returned to a steady speed walk.

Finally, after hobbling along for what felt like an eternity, she made it to Rose's room. She awkwardly reached her hand to the doorknob from underneath Rose's body and turned it, rushing into the room without bothering to shut the door behind her. She gently deposited her friend on the bed, heaving a sigh of fatigue as she set down her load. However, she instantly forgot her exhaustion as she got another look at Rose.

Her face was extremely pale, at least three shades lighter than usual. Her torso was entirely covered in blood now, and was already starting to seep into the bed sheets. Rose quit groaning and said something inaudible through gritted teeth. Kanaya leaned closer and spoke gently and soothingly so as to keep Rose calm and cause her less stress.

"Sorry, what was that, Rose?"

Rose uttered a few words that appeared to be spoken in a different dialect. Rose appeared to realize this as well and cleared her throat, speaking in English this time.

"I'm... sorry, Kanaya... I should have... been able to... help more..."

Her voice sounded strained. Kanaya thought frantically of ways that she might be able to help.

"No, no, it'll be fine, everything is ok... I can... I can sew you back up! I have some sewing needles lying around here somewhere!"

She looked around frantically to try and find something to patch her up with.

"Kanaya..."

Kanaya ignored her, desperately searching around the room. She spotted a needle and a bit of thread nearby. It would have to do. She snatched it up from the dresser it was seated on and sped back over to Rose.

"Kanaya..."

Kanaya continued to ignore her and carefully lifted up part of the blood-soaked shirt, trying as hard as she could not to reveal anything that would make her seem perverted. She flinched visibly and drew her head back a little when she saw how much damage Gamzee had really done. A huge hole gaped in her stomach, blood spilling everywhere, now soaking the bed sheets as well as her shirt. To make matters even worse, guts hung out over her sides, making a huge mess out of Rose's vitals.

Kanaya was used to blood, being a rainbow drinker, but never blood so... red. And it had probably also sunk in that it was her best friend/more that was like this, and she was feeling all that pain... Rose looked up and met Kanaya's gaze. Her eyes were glazed over with pain, but they seemed oddly at peace.

"Kanaya... I'm sorry it took me so long... to show you what you mean to me... It wasn't... easy... and.. so sorry... we can't... be together... live a long... life... I just wish... I had more time... to spend... with... you..."

Rose's voice began to trail off and Kanaya could feel her eyes moistening. Her vision began to blur.

"No, no! It's not the end, I can fix you!"

She ran to the bathroom and retrieved a towel, dashing back over to Rose's side. She tried to wipe up some of the blood, but Rose slowly held out a weak, trembling hand to stop her.

"So sorry... Thank you... for... everything... Thank you for... the red... feelings... I... love... you..."

Rose's hand sank back down to the bed as the light left her eyes. Hot tears fell freely down Kanaya's cheeks now, and it was all she could do to hold back a wail of despair. She balled her hands up into fists and buried her head in Rose's shoulders. Memories of Rose and all of the time they had spent together raced across her mind, and she tucked them away to preserve forever.

She remembered the dream she had less than two weeks ago. The poem thing, Rose's eyes growing red, then the rest of her turning red, and then, finally, her disappearance. A thought hit her. All of this had come true. First she had read Rose's poem, like in the beginning of her dream. Then she had noticed Rose's eyes, their depth and beauty. In her dream Rose's eyes had turned red, just like the red quadrant. Then Rose herself had turned red. This had happened to her for real, too. She hadn't noticed at the time, but after seeing Rose's eyes, Kanaya had started to feel red emotions towards Rose, and they had slowly gotten deeper, until finally Rose had made the move that confirmed Kanaya's feelings towards her forever. Her dream had been surprisingly accurate. And then, the boom. Rose was gone. Kanaya lifted her head, the memory tearing a hole in her heart. She managed to choke out,

"I love you too, Rose. I always have."

Then she stood, her head feeling fuzzy. She turned, and dragging her feet, she left the room without a backwards glance.


End file.
